"Diarmuid Martin - That Fucker!"

It goes without saying that the statement in this post's title was never uttered by me. Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin is, unusually for a member of the Irish Catholic hierarchy, a man for whom I have an ocean of respect and regard. He is possessed of a quiet, unaffected charm, as well as being a man who attempts to be a true witness to his faith. He is also a man of great compassion for his fellow men, though this has been his undoing in the eyes of one rather sad specimen of pseudo humanity.

There is this individual (let's call him Toby) who has a habit of dropping in to see me uninvited. He seems to think himself so important, and everyone else so unimportant, that he can just arrive and be entertained. Many have been the occasions when I have been really busy, and my first response would have been to tell him to f"*k off (with knobs on), but I have been too indulgent towards him. On his most recent visit he started to "give out" about the pope and how he had covered up cases of clerical sexual abuse. I have long been upset by this, and so I listened to what he had to say, knowing well that it was perhaps less than sincere. (He is a man who has long been annoyed at not having been invited to join the Knights of St. Columbanus, an influential right-wing Catholic lay group. This surprises me, as recently they've been taking any scoundrel in. He has even explored the possibilities of joining the Free Masons.) I expressed my own feelings of disquiet about the handling by the Catholic Church of this sad phenomenon, and how the hierarchy had perhaps done less than they should. I immediately added how much I respected the comments made on this issue by Dr Diarmaid Martin.
"Diarmaid Martin, that fucker?" was the response. I asked why he said this.
"He wanted to bring back that black bastard that was deported."
Now as Toby knows how I feel about such intemperate racist language I went straight on the attack. Diarmaid Martin was obviously, I said, a man who took his Christianity seriously, who saw every man, woman and child on this planet as having been made in the likeness of God. I told him that he was obviously sick and unhappy, that I wake up each morning thankful for an an opportunity to experience the wonders of the world, not wondering who can I hate or despise today. Furthermore I stated that when I meet anyone, regardless of their skin colour, creed, sexual orientation or whatever, I view that person as having been sent to me by God and maybe they are God.

Yet none of this cut the slightest ice with Toby. I was told that the "black bastard" was an "illegal immigrant, who had been educated by the Irish tax payer, and ..." here I cut him off. I was so angry by this statement that I could have hit him. I'll explain elsewhere the reasons for my choler. I reminded him that many of the hundreds of thousands of people who left Ireland for England or America were technically illegal.
"But we worked" he answered, whereupon I reminded him of the stereotypes common in both England and Ireland of the lazy mick. It should be remembered that those seeking refugee status in Ireland were not allowed to work, whether they wanted to or not. As for the crap about "illegal immigrants", this man doesn't accept that there should be even legal immigrants, while the excreta about working is just that. He doesn't like the "black bastards" because, according to his sick worldview, they don't work; he doesn't like the Poles and Balts because they take Irish jobs and because they work.

I hate people with "one track minds" - though I might not mind if Toby had a more traditional "one track mind". This phenomenon usually speaks of a deeper mental malaise. It doesn't seem to matter what you're talking about with him, he'll bring it back to his sick racist prejudice. I recall the joy I felt when Rosie first pushed me around Cavan in my wheel chair. I was like a child seeing my native town again for the first time. I was also so impressed by how sympathetic the majority of motorists were who always stopped so as to allow us to cross a street. Yet when I related this to my "acquaintance" the response I got was "None of them were fucking foreigners." This was as stupid as it was banal. How could he say with such certainty that none of them were "fucking foreigners"? We didn't ask them for ID or a passport before they let us cross.


When Toby starts on his prejudicial philippics, whether against foreigners, gays, women... whatever you're havin' yourself, I feel physically sick. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to violently puke into his face. As I said above, I felt like hitting him. A number of things stopped me. The idea of me trying to hit anyone in my physical state would be laughable. But while I was very angry with him and what I perceived to be his insensitivity of my feelings I also felt immense pity for him. I could have floored him intellectually - I've been around long enough not to be frightened by stupid bigots. But I also felt that he was more of a danger to himself than to anyone else. I genuinely believe that he is not a bad person, just someone who has a whole lot of issues which only he can sort out. He has known his fair share of personal tragedy, indeed some would say more than his fair share. He is a very talented specialist who has been "fucked around", refused work and jobs for which he was more than entitled and qualified. But the people doing this weren't "Black Bastards" (how I hate that phrase) from Nigeria or Romania, but good white Irish people.

Toby attends Mass on a Sunday, usually going to the 10 o'clock showing in Cavan town's cathedral (which I long ago hristened "The Golf-Club at Prayer"). He probably believes in a place called Heaven, and all things being equal he stands as good a chance of getting there as the rest of us. But what would happen if, on passing through the pearly gates, St Peter turns out to be black? Will he demand relocation to the other place? Ah but sure I'm only wandering. He is betting on the existence of a nice Irish, White, Catholic heaven. (You've heard the joke about the guy who's being given a guided tour of heaven by an angel. As he rushes along the angel says. "In there are the Jews, over there are the Baptists, Around the corner are the Muslims..." As they walk along they come to an enclosure with a very high wall. The man asks the angel "who's in there?"
"Shhh, keep your voice down. That's where the Catholics are" replies the angel in a whisper.
"But why are you talking in a whisper?" asks the man.
"Because they think they're the only ones up here." answered the angel.